A Lesson From Bugs?!

The preschoolers at my job are sort of obsessed with bugs. We have about a dozen “bug catchers”, which are plastic containers that have a little magnifying glass. They are quite a high demand toy.

It’s funny because the kids pick up those gross little bugs- and carry them around for hours. They will show anyone who will look.

I’m not a fan of bugs (ha, SUCH an understatement!) but I try to be brave for my kiddies. When they ask me to look- I try to be fascinated. When they ask/beg me to touch- I tell them to go ask another teacher!

They help each other look for the good bugs, which are beetles, ladybugs, worms, and anything with wings. Sometimes they put grass in the containers so the bugs will have a snack. Sometimes they cry when the bug escapes. I usually say the bug just wants to find his Mommy out in the grass. Sometimes that stops the tears.

One day in particular, a little girl came up to me with a frown on her cute little face. She had an empty container in her hands. I gave her the usual speech: “The bugs like to hide in the sidewalk cracks and in the grass. Look there first. And ask your friend to help you look.”

Countless times I’ve told the kids this.

She tells me that she looked already and couldn’t “find no bugs.” Her face is sad, eyes about to water. She plops down next to me and complains that she won’t EVER find a bug. It’s just too hard.

I tell her softly that maybe she was looking in the wrong places and that maybe she gave up too fast. And then the hard truth. She won’t ever find a bug if she just sits here and whines about it. I hug her, and encourage her to stand up and look again. Look carefully.

And then, for a split second, I realize how foolish I’ve been. I look for God, in all the places I expect to find Him. Church. The Bible. Worship. Quiet time. And yes, God is there. 

Yet, sometimes I feel like He isn’t. 

And now I see that I’ve been going about this all wrong.

We look for God. 

We give up. 

We go sit. We whine. 

We claim we looked, but it’s just too hard and we won’t EVER find Him.

But He is omnipresent. Everywhere.

The girl gets up, disappears. Totally committed to finding that bug. 

And then, a few moments later, she catches one- a good one.

You see, we have to seek Him. We have to seek Him with everything inside of us- and then we’ll see that He is indeed, all around. He IS in those places, but He is inside of us too. We have to stop whining and complaining.

So just like that little preschooler, who decided to get up and get looking, we have to decide that we’re going to stop talking about seeking God- and actually do it. 

Actually, really and truly, seek Him.

He’s all around, wanting to be found.

“You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. 

I will be found by you,” declares the Lord. 

~ Jeremiah 29:13-14a

He Knows Me

So I’m pretty convinced that God actually works through iTunes, when it recommends me music. 

Lately, I haven’t bought any music other than worship music (for reasons and lessons for another blog).. and iTunes is learning that I don’t want to buy that Rihanna song. No, I don’t even want that Adele song. And no, I definitely don’t want those songs that are filled with profanity and other nonsense. I just want me some Jesus music.

A few days ago, iTunes (and GOD!) recommended a song called “You Know Me” by Bethel Music and Steffany Frizzell.

Well, I’ve been playing it constantly. There is just something about it.

“You know when I rise and when I fall.

When I come or go, You see it all.

You hung the stars and you move the seas,

But still you know me.”

Yes. It blows my mind. It makes me pretty crazy excited. I can’t help but worship and praise. Yes, God. You did all these amazing miracles. You split the seas, You healed, You saved, You created everything I can see (and what I can’t) and it’s awesome. 

The world is so beautiful, displaying the work of Your hand. 

You put every single star up in that big, black sky. Yet, you know me.

You know me. You have me memorized.

And not just me. He knows you too.

He knows everything about you.

“Nothing is hidden from Your sight.

Wherever I go, You find me.

You know every detail of my life.

You are God; You don’t miss a thing.”

Every detail. Every little detail.

You don’t miss it, God.

You know me.

I sigh a deep breath of relief, He knows me.

Here's the link, you really have to listen to it:)

You Know Me by Bethel Music and Steffany Frizzell

An Ode to Some Beautiful People

I’ll just say forgive me now, because I’m sure this will get sentimental pretty quickly here. I’m just extra thankful tonight for this thing called friendship.

There is a quote I read a few years ago, which is also on my mind:

“People surrounded by facts, permitting themselves no surprises, no intuitive flashes, no great hypotheses, no risks, are locked in cells.”

So true. 

When I read this, it hurts. It hurts because I do this way too many times. I surround myself with learning, with watching, with all things predictable and boring. I like knowing what is going to happen. 

Controlling? You might not think I am, but sometimes I want the control so badly. And sometimes I try desperately. Then I mess up. Then I realize that God has it all in His hands. 

Worry? No, He’s got this.

Still, I try to control what I can, because then it seems a bit easier to manage.

Only, it’s not. Because I end up locked in a cell. A cell of my own thoughts and fears.

Oh God, bring freedom.

It’s hard, but I’m working on it. I’m trying to open myself up to this thing called Adventure, to the crazy amazing life God has for me. I’m not going to find it by sitting on the sidelines, as cliche as that sounds. I have to just take the risk and go for it. I have to just trust that God’s plan is perfect.

And tonight, I suppose, I’m just extra thankful that these lovely people I call friends don’t let me sneak away into my cell. They pull me out, reminding me that life is beautiful and worth celebrating. They reach in, reminding me that God has given me people to walk through this life with.

Alexis: I have the most honest conversations with you. You see right through my I’m fine. You remind me that life is a beautiful thing, and it’s totally worth it. You help me not take myself too seriously. You remind me to have fun. And while it might sound like a simple thing, it truly is something I needed to learn.

Emily: I am thankful that you have so much joy, real joy. You share it with me. We talk about everything and you understand. You listen. I know we’ll laugh, but I know you will also sit with me in the silence. Though I’m awful at texting back, you do whatever you can to reach me. Seriously, that means so much.

Mallori: When did we become friends? I’m pretty sure since before either of us could talk... And even after all these years, we’ve never “fought”. We never went through that stuff. We did vacations and matching outfits and the first-sleepover-thing. Honestly though, I’m near tears right now, as I think of the loss we went through- with each other. I’m sitting here, remembering feeling such pain in my heart for you, at your Pop Pop’s funeral when we were just little girls. And I’m in tears now, as I remember the tears you shed at Uncle Rocky’s. You feel my pain. And it touched me, in a way I can’t even put into words.

Julia: We talk about it all. I feel like we’re those people who have conversations that no one else understands. I have very few memories that you’re not in. From falling off slides, to writing songs (if you can call them that), to praying, to... The list goes on. As hysterical as we get, we can also have some of the deepest conversations. I don’t know how we do it, but I’m glad. I’m glad to have someone who knows exactly what I’m trying to say. You get me.

Raveena: I would have to say that, out of all my friends, we are most similar. I will think something in my head, and then you say it. And we finish each other’s sentences. All the time. You’ll say something, deeply spiritual and perfect, and I’ll just want to cry because, in my heart, I was looking for that. On that car ride home from Sister Britt’s house, our conversation made me know I wasn’t alone. I knew, from deep inside me, that someone else felt what I felt. You know my heart.

And I have so many more. More family, friends, teachers, and people I am thankful for. There’s friends and sisters, some new and some old, who have accepted me and welcomed me. My blog could go on forever, with people who God has placed in my life, who have lifted me up and given me hope to keep moving, keep believing, keep growing. 

Tonight, my heart is thankful. So thankful for this beautiful place, these beautiful people.

A Confession: I Have a Favorite Word

I have a favorite word. I’m sure this makes me a little/a lot nerdy. But, oh well.

It’s not a really cool or crazy word. It doesn’t have a lot of letters. It’s not even a loved one’s name or anything like that.

It’s a word of hope. It promises that awful things will not end like that. It brings change. It’s beauty from ashes, treasure from trash. It’s optimistic and pure and sacred. It’s the belief that something good can come from even the scariest of things. Light, when the darkness seems to continue forever. 

It’s redemption.

Yes, that’s my favorite word. 

God redeemed my worthless self, saying, “Daughter, you are not worthless. I have a purpose for you, a job only you can do.” 

Jesus redeemed me, saying, “Child, you don’t have to be bound to this life of sin and despair and loneliness. I’ve got garments of gladness and praise.” 

The Holy Spirit redeems me, saying, “Friend, you will never walk alone.”

There is a quote I LOVE, and it talks about redemption. It’s in the book Cold Tangerines by Shauna Niequist. The book, is somewhere in my house. I just can’t find it. It seems the books are taking over my room at this current moment. Anyways, I found another quote, also by Shauna Niequist in her second book Bittersweet. Both are great reads.

So the quote:

“I believe that God is making all things new. I believe that Christ overcame death and that pattern is apparent through life and history: life from death, water from a stone, redemption from failure, connection from alienation. I believe that suffering is part of the narrative, and that nothing really good gets built when everything’s easy.”

This beautiful quote is redemption in a nutshell. 

Yes, God is making all things new. Even me. Even you. 

Yes, Christ overcame death, a perfect picture of redemption. 

And yes, sometimes things have to feel pretty bad before they get better. 

Change sometimes causes pain. Pain is sometimes good.

Pain sometimes means growth. And growth, it is very good.

I'll make a list of God's gracious dealings, all the things God has done that need praising, All the generous bounties of God, his great goodness to the family of Israel— 

Compassion lavished, love extravagant. 

He said, "Without question these are my people, children who would never betray me." 

So he became their Savior. In all their troubles, he was troubled, too. 

He didn't send someone else to help them. He did it himself, in person. 

Out of his own love and pity he redeemed them. 

He rescued them and carried them along for a long, long time.

~Isaiah 63: 7-9

Have the Beatitudes Been Promises All These Years?!

So I decided to start reading the Gospels again. After all, I should be striving to be like Jesus. If I’m striving to be like Him, then I need to look at His life, His words, etc. I have to work at doing what Jesus commands.

I didn’t get very far into the Gospels, before realizing that I’m again learning something new. I was in Matthew 5, when I began to read the Beatitudes. I think it’s safe to say that I had these memorized at one point in elementary school, but without practice, it’s easy to forget. They’re probably some of the most famous words Jesus ever spoke. Yet somehow, I didn’t appreciate them and the promises that accompany them. 

The dictionary defines the word “beatitude” as a supreme blessing. A supreme blessing would be then further defined as the most important blessing. But have I honestly thought of the little, old Beatitudes as the most important blessings?!

I read them again, in the NIV, and then again in The Message. 

And suddenly, these blessings become real. I see it so clearly. 

Matthew 5:1-10 (The Message) are below.

When Jesus saw his ministry drawing huge crowds, he climbed a hillside. Those who were apprenticed to him, the committed, climbed with him. Arriving at a quiet place, he sat down and taught his climbing companions. This is what he said:

You're blessed when you're at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.

You're blessed when you feel you've lost what is most dear to you. Only then can you be embraced by the One most dear to you.

You're blessed when you're content with just who you are—no more, no less. That's the moment you find yourselves proud owners of everything that can't be bought.

You're blessed when you've worked up a good appetite for God. He's food and drink in the best meal you'll ever eat.

You're blessed when you care. At the moment of being 'care-full,' you find yourselves cared for.

You're blessed when you get your inside world—your mind and heart—put right. Then you can see God in the outside world.

You're blessed when you can show people how to cooperate instead of compete or fight. That's when you discover who you really are, and your place in God's family.

You're blessed when your commitment to God provokes persecution. The persecution drives you even deeper into God's kingdom.

The first words that jumped out at me were “the committed.” Only the committed got to hear these blessings, because let’s be real, only the committed would live by them. 

Oh God, help me be committed.

Then, I saw it. Promises. Each and every one of them- a promise. If you... Then God...

First the command, then the blessing. Wanna be blessed? Then first obey. It’s that conditional promise logic again.

Go back. Read those verses one more time. Really let them sink in. 

This has been the Year of Promises for me, the year of seeing the benefits of serving God. Silly me, thought I was only going to find the promises in Psalms and Isaiah- but here they are, spoken by Jesus Christ himself. He promises.