Promises, Promises, PROMISES

This year, I’m all about promises. Like a fashion trend, promises are “in” this year for me. Well, promises have always been “in," only my eyes weren’t really open to them. Now that my eyes are indeed open, I know that I’ll be looking for promises everywhere- all the time. Like the perfect sweater or pair of jeans, these promises will always be in style. I’ll wear them forever. Then, when they grow worn and faded, they will still be perfect because they’ll be vintage. (And that makes things much cooler, in my personal opinion.)

Promises are hard to keep. A lot of times we promise without thinking about the consequences or the actual promise itself. I know that I break too many promises and forget about lots of other ones.

On the other hand, promises are beautiful. The words “Until death do us part” are some of the most powerful and inspiring words out there. A genuine and committed promise is pure and holy.

No one on this earth can be a perfect promise-keeper. 

Only God can make promises that truly stand when all else is shaken.

I grew up in church. You could find me in church Sunday mornings and nights, Wednesday nights, and some Saturdays too. I am sure that I’ve heard thousands of sermons and testimonies and miracles. I know I’ve been told about God’s promises many times, but it’s different this time around. Now, I’m finding the promises for myself. I see them, so bare and obvious, in Psalms and Isaiah and Jeremiah and Exodus. I underline ferociously, marking God’s promises to David and the Israelites and to me. The promises are right there, in the Word of God, which hasn’t changed a bit.

See, I’ve begun to train my eyes for the promises. At first, it was awkward and uncomfortable, claiming the things that God has promised me. But now, it’s becoming like second nature and I am excited to go looking for the promises. I want to open my Bible, anxious to find another promise, another guarantee of God’s goodness.

Not one of all the Lord’s good promises to the house of Israel failed; 

every one was fulfilled. 

~Joshua 21:45

You should literally put a heart or a star(anything!),
something to remind you where the promises are...

Called To the Highest Standard

Feeling alone? Like everyone’s having fun doing the wrong thing and not getting caught? Sometimes I feel like that. But it’s then that I remember the quote, “If you want to lead the orchestra, you may have to turn your back on the crowd.” 

And it’s in those lonely, reflective moments that I thank God for the calling He has on my life-  a calling no one can destroy or dictate. It’s in the moments where my prayers are tears, that I am amazed that God would fit me into His amazing plan. 

It’s hard, but I must remember that God requires so much more from those who say Yes to Him. How can you live like a sinner and expect to receive the benefits of a saint? No, if you want the benefits you have to put in work. If you really want God to take control, you have to surrender. You have to stand up and say, "No I will not do that. I won't compromise. I won't settle." Don't look around at the people who act holy, but then do whatever they want. Look up, to God, and follow Jesus' life as an example.

If you have a high standard, don’t drop it for anybody. God is preparing something incredible for you, and for all those who refuse to settle for less than His best.

The answer's simple: Live right, speak the truth, despise exploitation, refuse bribes, reject violence, avoid evil amusements. This is how you raise your standard of living! 

A safe and stable way to live. A nourishing, satisfying way to live. 

~Isaiah 33:15-16

Be Still Little Bird

About a week ago, on my way to work, I almost hit a bird. I was driving along, minding my own business when a bird landed on the road in front of me. I could tell by where my car was that the bird would literally be in between the wheels of my car. No matter which way the bird flew, it would get hit. Fly to the right, there’s a wheel. Fly to the left, there’s another wheel.

I cringed and waited to hit it. There was nothing I could do. However, there was something that the little bird could do.

The tiny bird could just sit still. It could trust that if it would just trust, then it would be protected and saved from death.

The bird had a near-death experience, but it just sat still. When troubles came from both sides, it just waited.

And at 7:25 that morning, I thanked God that He often commands us to just sit still and that He is more than enough for me. He will shield me, if I can wait long enough for Him to hold me. Don’t get me wrong, He often calls us to action, but also to patience. When trouble is coming from both sides and I have no place to run, I should wait on Him. I should trust.  Trust that God will protect. Trust that He has a plan far better than mine.

Know that troubles do not mean God has abandoned you; He has not left you in the middle of the road to get hit by a car. He sees you and commands you to just be still. 

But if you see that the job is too big for you, that it's something only God can do, and you trust him to do it—you could never do it for yourself no matter how hard and long you worked—well, that trusting-him-to-do-it is what gets you set right with God, by God. Sheer gift.

~Romans 4:4-5

A Prayer about Trusting

      I wrote this a few months ago, but I love it. When I reread this, I feel like David. This is one of those Psalms. You know, where David cries out to God and sorta complains and just tells God how he feels, but then realizes how much God has actually done... For me, this is a prayer. When I feel I can't possibly go further, I have to trust God. When I feel alone and lost, I have to trust God. When hiding seems easier, I have to trust God. Trust God.

      Maybe as you read this you will apply it to yourself. You'll see that God is not hiding, but maybe, in fact, you are. If you are hiding, know that God knows. He knows and He sees and He's waiting- waiting for you.

God, I’m running on empty; I cannot go on much further. 

I feel like once I get going and find that good place- something happens. 

I come to a complete and sudden stop. S-T-O-P. 

My brakes squeak and my body lunges forward, anxious to continue. 

Sometimes I feel as though I’m wandering, not lost- just lacking. 

Where is my purpose? What would You have me to do?

Often I feel alone and without guidance. My walk is shaky and my hands tremble. 

My confidence has fled and fear is creeping. 

I know Who to turn to, but feel like You’re hiding under a rock. 

Which rock do I look under?!

Maybe I’m the one under the rock, hoping to hide myself 

from the pains and disappointments of this world. 

Maybe I’m the one who stopped the car 

because I thought this route was boring and scary and wrong.

God, YOU are my rock, my place of safety. 

You’re my Foundation, the very thing my hope is built on. 

You know the path, You guide me and give me confidence. 

Direct me Lord. 

I trust that Your Way is the Right Way, the Only Way for me.

Desperation

I recognize that Satan has a plan, a plan to bring me down. I know that He will use whatever he can to suffocate me, blocking God’s plan for my life. He may even try to use my own thoughts against me; in fact, he usually uses my thoughts against me.

I sometimes consider myself a loner in the sense that I’m not always sitting with tons of people, gossiping about the latest buzz. I actually prefer to have time to be alone with my thoughts. And God’s presence. 

However, in those moments, it wasn't God's peace I was feeling. It was un-peace and hopelessness;  I wasn't growing. I felt desperate. I felt like I wasn't good enough to be used by God, like I wasn't popular or funny or outgoing enough to fulfill His plan. I felt like no matter how hard I prayed, He didn't hear me!

But I’m done with that now. I’m done with the pity party.

I’m done trying to plan my future on my own. I’m done with the hopelessness and loneliness. I am putting on that garment of praise. I’m lifting up my hands, surrendering my complete self to God.

I’m listening to sermons. I’m reading the Word. I’m only listening to Jesus music.

Why?

Because I’m desperate. Because I’ll do whatever it takes to hear from God. 

Because I NEED to hear from God.

I will give them a crown to replace their ashes, and the oil of gladness to replace their sorrow, and clothes of praise to replace their spirit of sadness. Then they will be called Trees of Goodness, trees planted by the Lord to show his greatness.

          ~ Isaiah 61:3 NCV

Wanna Breakthrough?

I am having a breakthrough. I will have my breakthrough. I’ve been waiting for God to send my breakthrough, but I’ve realized that therein lies the problem. Breakthrough is an action. I have to break through to have a breakthrough. Waiting, in this case, is not the answer.

If you want a breakthrough, you gotta chase it. You better push past the crowd. If you want a breakthrough, you better push through your peers and their expectations. You may have to push past your family and the place from which you’ve come from. If you want a breakthrough, you better be brave enough to push past your insecurities, doubts, fears, and desires. You may have to stand when others sit, sing when others are quiet, and move on when every part of you wants to stay put. If you want a breakthrough you may have to conquer your fear of rejection and embarrassment. You may have to step forward even though the path is not clear. You may have to be alone. But I am sure of this: you WILL break through.

I will listen to worship music, allowing it to seep into my thoughts and heart. I will memorize scripture. I will fast and pray even when I’m hungry and my eyes hurt. I will desperately seek God, knowing that it is only then that I will find him. I will live my life as an act of worship. Worship will be my lifestyle. My very life itself will glorify my Creator and 

Redeemer. 

There is no recipe for a breakthrough. (If there is, I’d like it please!) 

However, I’ll hold on to the belief that if anyone surrenders totally to God, and truly lives their life as He calls, then the breakthrough and the freedom that accompanies it, will come.

Go Ahead; Trade With God

       I wrote the following poem-ish thing in 2011 and made it my motto for that year. Well, a year later I am still reading and writing and committing it to memory. 

Over and over. I am repeating it's words of hope and redemption. I am loving it for my decisiveness and for the possibilities it brings. 

      Remember, change is not necessarily a bad thing and when you trade what you have, for what God has for you- you always receive above and beyond what you actually deserve.

       It is my hope and prayer that you, too, will trade with God and accept whatever it is He is calling you to do.

I am trading my feelings of doubt, insecurity, loneliness, and discontentment. 

I am trading my jealousy, pride, and fear.

I am trading them for what God has for me.

God’s replacing my doubt- with assurance,

My insecurity- with protection,

My loneliness- with an ever-present Savior,

My discontentment- with thankfulness,

My jealousy- with what’s best for ME,

My pride- with humility and a servant’s heart, and

My fear- with hope.

God’s giving me joy- even when times are tough,

Happiness- even when others around me complain, and 

Comfort- not in my social status, but in the knowledge of Jehovah Jireh.

I am not settling or giving up.

I am not stooping down.

I am stepping up and stepping out 

Into what God has called for me.

Something Steadfast

Don’t you love to hear the constant motion of the waves? 

It’s movement is constant, but within that single movement- it changes. 

Rise. Fall. Up. Down. In. Out. It changes. 

The sun rises and sets. Comes up. Goes down. Constant, yet changing. 

The seasons- they change too.

So what’s the point? The point is that everything, well almost everything, changes. 

Matures. Reveals. Unfolds. Transforms. 

What’s so amazing is that in the middle of a transition, something remains steady. 

God’s love. His mercy. His kindness. God’s patience. 

God remains steadfast. He never changes.

So sit back, relax, and breathe it in. 

Have comfort, knowing you are not too far from God to receive His blessings. 

Let His arms of faithfulness envelop you. 

Find peace in the knowledge of a never changing Savior.

Please, let the Prefect Father guide you towards what’s best. 

Apart from Him, you will have nothing. So stay. 

Soak in His goodness and grace. 

Relax in the steadfastness of Jehovah Jireh, the God who consistently provides.

Who I Am and Who I Am Not

Trusting. No more analyzing. Letting go and letting God. 

No more bitterness. No more being secretly mad at someone.

I’m accepting that God has a job for me. I’m accepting that there are challenges and some unfair parts of being a leader. I will trust that God has something for me and I will wait on His timing. It’s hard; I want what seems like a good thing, and I want it now. But I’ve realized how greedy and needy that makes me sound. That’s not who I want to be.

I don’t want to be the girl who looks shallow and fake and insecure. I don’t want to be the girl who’s cocky and obnoxious and over-analytical. I also don’t want to be the girl who talks about these girls. I don’t want to be the girl who’s too busy to have any fun, who’s too nervous to relax, who’s too busy to live life. I don’t wanna be the girl who puts on a show and is a hypocrite and a complainer. I am not these girls.

I want to be the girl who smiles all the time, even when she’s hurting. I want to be the girl who knows how to light up a room without trying. I want to be the girl whose love for God is contagious. I want to be the girl that people aspire to be like. I want to be the girl who can trust and love and give unconditionally. I want my life to speak for itself. I want people to know I care, really care. I want to be the girl who gets lost in God’s presence and cries for the lost. I want to be a girl of compassion and grace and faithfulness. I want to make others breathe easier because they know I’m there. I want to be the girl who has amazing God stories of healing and deliverance and redemption. I want to be the girl who refuses to deem anything worthless and a lost cause. I want to be the girl who gives everyone a fair chance. I want to be the girl who is filled with knowledge and wisdom and freely gives good advice. I truly want to be a girl who makes the world a better place, who stood for God and on the side of justice and mercy no matter what the cost.

I know that with these desires comes a lot of work. I know that there will be lonely times, lonely years. I know that tests are coming. I say: Bring it on. Woah, that makes me sound brave. Well, through God’s power, I can be confident that He will keep me. So Lord, I want to be used by You. I accept whatever comes along with that statement. Through the good and bad, through the times of sorrow and joy, through depressions and raises, through pain and healing, through heartbreaks and love... I am Yours. I say YES to Your will, toward whatever path you would have for me. I promise to try my hardest to rest in You alone, and in what You have for me. Help me and hear me. See my heart and know I mean it with all I have inside of me. I love you God and am asking you to do whatever is necessary to make me into “that girl”.