There's A Reason For the Closed Door

Lately, I’ve been struggling with the whole God-opens-doors-thing. I don’t have a problem with it; in fact, I LOVE when God opens doors for me. I guess the part I’m not so crazy about is when He closes some doors. Actually, that’s the part I’m really having a hard time with.

I see something that is so good. Everything about it looks good. No, not perfect- but good. And sometimes my mind plays tricks on me. Just like Satan and Adam and Eve way back in the beginning. Genesis 3:6 says, “When the Woman saw that the tree looked like good eating and realized what she would get out of it—she'd know everything!—she took and ate the fruit and then gave some to her husband, and he ate.” It looked like good eating. She thought it was good for her, but it wasn’t. That one piece of seemingly good fruit, brought about the fall of man. Now, I am not saying that just because something looks good, it’s automatically bad. I’m saying that you should be listening to God’s voice and following what He commands so that you aren’t off on your own, finding some good-looking fruit that is actually harmful.

Anyways, back to the doors...  So once I make up my mind to go through this door, it closes. Hard. And in what feels like the most ironic and cruel way. Thoughts like, “Really, God?!” were running through my head a lot.

Then, God shows up, as He always does. No, the door is not open, but once again He provides the vision. On a lonely ride home from work, it hit me softly. I felt God’s presence begin to comfort and assure and teach me.

I felt quite clearly in my spirit that night that a good thing- given at the wrong time- isn’t really a good thing. Something can be amazing, but if it’s you trying to call the shots in your timing, then how is is really a good thing? It’s not. If God has something else for you, for that moment, then the “good” thing isn’t the right thing for you then.

A cell phone charger is good, right? In fact, it’s vital to the cell phone’s survival. Suppose someone gives you a phone charger and you don't have a cell phone... What good is that charger to you if you don’t even have a cell phone?

See the connection? 

God has a plan. And good and perfect plan. He knows when you need things, and He will not forget.

Sometimes God opens doors because He wants you to learn what He has for you. 

He opens because the time is right.

Sometimes God closes doors because we’re not ready for what is on the other side. 

The timing isn’t quite right yet.

Has God refused to open a door in your life like He has in mine right now? Maybe we need to check ourselves and see if we’re ready for what God would have in store for us.

In Isaiah 43:19, God says, “For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.”

God is preparing you for something new. He’s aready started. Can’t you see it? God’s making a way, when there doesn’t seem to be a way. Get ready. Get ready because the door is about to open. And it may swing wide, changing everything you’ve ever known.

We Always Leave Out the Good Part

Well, you know how I’m all about promises this year? 

(If you didn’t know that, you should go read my post about promises!) 

So I keep coming back to this one verse, a verse I’ve heard countless times. It’s a verse of promise. Only, for some reason, the promise part never gets preached. 

We always stop right before the good part. 

Yes, it’s all good- but we leave out the really good part. 

Maybe because it's also the hard part.

Wondering what the verse is? It’s Isaiah 54:17. 

“So no weapon that is used against you will defeat you. 

You will show that those who speak against you are wrong. 

These are the good things my servants receive. 

Their victory comes from me," says the Lord.

All of my life I’ve heard: No weapon formed against you will prosper. But what about the rest of the verse? These are the good things. THESE are the good things. 

God has promised good things to those who serve Him. If you do not serve God, then I hate to tell you this, but, this promise doesn’t apply to you. If God’s not on your side (in your heart), then expect to be defeated eventually. If, however, God is on your side, then this verse says to expect a victory from Him. He'll fight for You. 

See, some promises are unconditional. God loves us- ALWAYS. 

Jesus was sent for EVERYONE. These are promises that don’t come with any catch.

What I’m learning though, is that some promises do come with a catch. 

But it’s a good catch. An example is Psalm 91:9-10.

“If you make the Most High your dwelling- 

even the Lord, who is my refuge- 

then no harm will befall you, 

no disaster will come near your tent.”

There are two key words in these verses, and I put a big box around them in my Bible. 

IF and THEN. It’s a conditional promise. 

Do you want to be protected, with no harm near you or your house? 

Then make the Most High your dwelling, seek God above all else. 

If you want the blessing and the promise- then you have to give a little (or everything).

Just like the promise in Psalms is conditional, so is the promise in Isaiah. If you don’t want weapons to destroy you, then you must first be a servant of the Lord.

So where does this leave us? Well I’m here, praying that God would help me. 

Help me be His servant. Help me seek Him above everything. 

Help me to make Him my Dwelling Place. 

I want those benefits. I want the things You’ve promised me, God. 

And yes, I’m willing to do whatever it takes, whatever You call me to do.

God Is All This + MORE

What’s my name?

ha, it’s not about my name! It’s about God- and all His names.

Jehovah Jireh, He meets my needs. Jehovah Maccaddeshem, He sanctifies.

Jehovah Yahweh, He divinely saves me. Jehovah Rohi, my Shepherd guides me.

Jehovah Shammah, He never leaves me. Jehovah Rapha, He heals me.

Jehovah Shalom, He establishes peace. El-Olam, He is everlasting.

El-Roi, He is strong, He can see. El-Elyon, He is MOST high.

El Shaddai, He is God of the mountains.

He is the Alpha, Omega, Advocate, 

Abba, Omnipresent, Anointed One, 

Author of Life, Beginning, End, Comforter, 

Deliverer, Commander, an all Consuming Fire, 

Counselor, Door, Father, Immanuel, King of Kings, 

Love, Master, Omnipotent, Messiah, Potter, the Way, 

the Teacher, Solid Rock, and the Gentle Whisper.

He is loving, merciful, steadfast, true, caring, 

compassionate, worthy, enduring, perfect, and strong. 

His hands: large enough to hold the whole world, but small enough to hold me. 

His eyes: all-seeing, but forgiving. 

His ears: able to hear everyone, everywhere, but able to distinguish my silent cries for justice, mercy, and love. 

His heart: so wide, so deep, so great that it’s endless, with no boundaries. 

This is the mighty God I serve!

Looking Beyond What You See (Yet, Kinda Not)

I have decided to look beyond my imperfections and limitations- 

and start looking at that which is beautiful inside of me and around me.

I will strive to see beauty where others see ugly, 

strive to see purpose where others see pointless, 

strive to see hope where others see a lost cause.

My God never gives up on me, so I cannot allow myself to give up on others. 

I cannot let me give up on me.

I thank God for the compassion He’s placed in my heart, for the loud, 

determined thumping when I know I have to bless someone. 

I thank God for my gentle spirit and my quiet ways. 

I thank God for my moments of weirdness and spontaneity. 

I’m thankful for the drive within me to do my very best. 

I’m even thankful for the tough lessons I’ve learned- 

the ones I could’ve only learned through experience. 

Thank you God for the beauty You have placed within me.

I thank you God for the beauty around me- in my family, friends, and workplace. 

Thank you for my preschoolers, whose little, 

hopeful lives have become my place of healing and restoration. 

Thank you God, that I often say nothing and my friends and family know just what I mean. Thank you for patience and support and peace, when all else is shaken.

Thank you, Lord, for warm sweaters, yellow leaves, sunsets and snowflakes. 

Thank you for red square plates, hot chocolate, and umbrellas. 

Thank you for freckles and rainbows and Goldfish crackers.

Thank you God for Your anointing and Your redemption. 

Thank you God, not just for the beauty on the inside, but the beauty all around us. 

Let me see it, God, and may I never forget this thankfulness.

I'm looking beyond what I see directly in front of me. 

But, I'm kinda not. Because the blessings and goodness aren't always visible,

Yet, they kind of are.

Compassion-tears

I went on a missions trip to Nicaragua, which I could talk about for hours.. but months later a preschooler asked to see some pictures. She was so curious. So I brought a few pictures in and a few other girls gathered. I explained each picture briefly and generalized quite a bit too. While there are clean cities, clean running water, and kids with shoes and toys- I emphasized the lack of these things.  According to the U.S. Department of State, Nicaragua is the second poorest country on the Western side of the world. Almost half (46%) live below the national poverty line. And 16% live on less than $1.25 a day! With a population of 5.89 million, this leaves millions of people living in poverty. (These statistics were just to show that I didn't exaggerate the truth!)

The children were fascinated. We decided to all pray for the girls in one of the pictures I had, who were dirty and didn’t have many toys and whose families had very little money.

My preschoolers were getting antsy, and with the “Amen” in unison, they dispersed. However, one little girl stayed. She was crying. I thought that maybe she got bumped when the kids all ran to go play, so I asked her if she was hurt. She responded, “Yes, Sister Vanessa. My heart hurts.” She continued to cry, deep and heavy, real tears. I put her on my lap.

Now I was faced with a challenge. I had to try to explain to her that the feeling in her heart, though painful, is good. I had to explain that God wants us to care for others. So I began to do just that. As simply as I could think, I began to tell her that she is feeling compassion in her heart. I told her that compassion is when we care for others and want to help them. “Man #3” in my modern version of “The Good Samaritan” had showed compassion, which is a story I told some of the kiddies a few weeks prior. I told her that she was showing compassion just like Man #3. I told her that these were compassion-tears, and they were good. I told her that this was showing me that she was growing up.

She cried those compassion-tears for more than fifteen minutes. I cut out the picture, which she was holding and was now tear-stained. I wrote a little note to this preschooler on the back, reminding her that compassion-tears are good and that she should pray for these girls whenever she thinks of them.

Well, it had been a few weeks and the children gathered around me, wanting to hear the Man #3 story again. This time, when I got to the good part, the compassion part, the kids explained compassion to me! Other preschoolers gladly told me that their friend had compassion for the girls in Nicaragua. To which the little girl said, “Yes. Those girls have nothing. So I have compassion inside.”

No prodding. No bait. They knew. That little girl, and all her friends, they know compassion now. She gets it. And I get it too. I see the importance of teaching a child something worth learning.

The teacher in me loves these moments, where I can impact a little life. One of those kids may grow up to be a missionary, showing compassion every moment. Maybe not. Maybe they’ll be a teacher and tell this story to their students. Maybe not. Maybe they’ll be an amazing parent, instilling compassion into their children. Maybe not. (Of course I hope and pray that they do!)

But by teaching them about compassion, I learned. And that counts for something.

The 3 little girls are sisters in Nicaragua.
Their hands and faces were dirty, but they were so happy.
When I remember my trip to Nicaragua, it's these 3 faces that I see.

A Fireplace Revelation

      There has been much talk of revivals this past week. It’s funny how God brings things together- always for His glory. All this talk reminded me of a quote I’d read awhile ago, which talked about how revival, essentially begins with YOU. Not a super-spiritual service. Not a special prayer. Just the simple desire to be transformed and consumed by our amazing God. 

Here’s the quote: 

"Kneel down and with a piece of chalk draw a complete circle all around you - and pray to God to send revival on everything inside the circle. Stay there until he answers, and you will have revival!"

~Gipsy Smith, aka Rodney Smith

       All of this reminded me of something I had written a few months ago, which is what you find below:

**

Today I woke up early and decided to restart the fire in the wood burning stove that we had going last night.

I turned the gray coals over and they glowed orange. I had never tried to rekindle a fire before, but had seen my parents do it tons of times.

I grabbed some newspaper, small pieces of wood, a lighter, and my patience.

As soon as I got the newspaper going, it would be out again. The wood chips too, went out right before they really gained any momentum. After a few more minutes, I got a bit optimistic. This looks great, I thought. So I grabbed an average size piece of wood on top. However, it didn’t catch. I tried and tried, but the wood,  like the newspaper, got burnt out just when I thought it got going.

My mom came down and helped me. After about ten or more minutes, a lot more newspaper, more kindling, and some cool little wood-stacking method- TA DA! A big spark. 

Yes! We have fire, I thought. Then, it dimmed again. My mom added more kindling and said, “There. That outta do it.” I stared at the fire, begging it to keep burning. Then I said something, which I realized later was actually pretty profound. I said, “You’d think the log would want to catch fire after all that stuff we’ve put in it.”

Woah, in that statement is a lesson. God sits, putting in so much work. He gives us simple things and we catch fire, but then burn out. God sits there, being His Patient Self for months. YEARS. He continues to build in our lives, blessing after blessing, and He watches. And with our big selves, we refuse to light. We proudly say, “I’m too busy for this” or “Not me, God.” God keeps trying. He blows His Holy  Spirit, (as all fires need some oxygen!) hoping we’ll see and learn and ignite. But we still don’t! We say, “Have Your Way, God,” but then refuse to light when He brings challenges. When faced with obstacles, we cave and our lights dim. But then, suddenly, in a moment that seems like magic, we ignite. We see just how long God’s been working, just how much He’s been working. And we want it, more than anything.

God, thank you. Thank you for early mornings and fireplace revelations. Thank you for showing me. Consume me, God. Let Your Holy Spirit come, that I’d catch fire. Jesus, I want it. I want Your Fire to be upon me, that I could help ignite others. Let my soul see all that You’ve done for me. I want it God, that overwhelming, all-consuming Fire. I want it more than anything.

**

       All this revival talk had made me even more determined. I want to seek God above everything else. In fact, I wanna seek Him alone. I want God to change me, from the inside out. I want to be on fire for God. I want to be radical. It seems weird and kinda out of character for me, but God desires for me to be radical for Him. And I desire it too. Revival isn’t some rare and unattainable event; rather, it’s something that has to happen inside each one of us, as we decide to follow Him and do whatever He asks.

Click on the link below to listen to a beautiful song about wanting more of God!

"Set a Fire" by Will Reagan and the United Pursuit

Gifts, In Abundance

I wrote this late yesterday/ early this morning:

Today was one of those days. No, not one of those bad days, but one where all the little things that make life beautiful- really stood out.

My day started at 6:06 (I have a weird need to wake up at times like this...) I began to get ready for the little preschoolers’ graduation picnic.

Kids can be tricky at events like this. They either love you or cling to their moms like their lives depend on it. Well, some kids clung. However, I felt loved. I felt like my name was constantly being called. I must’ve hugged nearly every student! I played with my little buddy on the slide and swings. It was bliss. I love those moments when I’m lost in the joy of being absolutely silly and carefree, thinking of absolutely nothing else.

It rained for about 5 minutes or so during the picnic. But not even that could stop me.

I came home with feet covered in dirt. To you this may sound gross, but this reminds me of how hard I played and worked today.

I finished my homework (thank you, online summer class) in about ten minutes. I finished an amazing book called “Kisses From Katie.” I recommend this book to absolutely everyone.

I took a nap. (I never take a nap!)

I had pasta salad, which I’m pretty sure I could eat every day and never get tired of it.

I got ready for the other graduation. I was a little late, which was probably the only downer on the day. If I hadn’t slept so long...

The graduation was beautiful and reminded me so much of my own graduation one year ago. When I think about it, it seems like the year blew by. Yet, I feel like I have learned and grown so much in that one little year. Tonight gave me some perspective.

Perspective, I think, should  make you thankful. I’m thankful for the vision, the clarity, and the chance to grow.

My phone died. I got told I looked tan. (Those never happen to me!)

I drove home in the pouring rain. I stopped for a Slurpee. 

Yes, it was almost 10 p.m.

Yes, I had my Jesus music playing.

The cherry on top is that I found my favorite DVD, The Incredibles, which had been missing for over a year. Of course it was actually on the DVD shelf. 

Of course we watched it. 

Lost, then found. Just like me. 

And here I am, writing down the events of my day at 1:15 in the morning.

There wasn’t anything extraordinary about my day; rather, the ordinary things became beautiful with a fresh perspective. God loves us and wants to be with us. He doesn’t want us to be lost, especially when we’re so close. He knows and cares. He wants to change our perspective.

God, I am so thankful for the gifts- today, and everyday, and for opening my eyes to them. Slowly and surely, I’m learning. I’m learning to trust You, the Father who gives good gifts.

Be Sneaky

A part of me, much bigger than I had ever thought, likes being sneaky. Now I don’t mean “bad” sneaky, but the kind of sneaky where I do something for someone else, that no one else knows about.

I like seeing that family at my favorite diner who really needs a blessing. You know the ones I’m talking about: They may have three kids, all young, and the parents’ eyes are tired. You can just tell it’s been a rough day and they could use something to uplift their spirit. Open your eyes; you’ll notice these people everywhere. Sometimes they have a family, sometimes they’re in uniform, sometimes they just have lonely eyes, and sometimes it’s all these in one. They’re all around.

Call me old-fashioned or a creeper, it doesn’t matter. I like to sneakily tell my waiter that I’d like to pay for their meal, or a part of it. It’s fun and deeply satisfying to know that after you leave, the waiter will say, “Another customer wanted to pay for your meal. Have a good evening.” The deepest part of my heart is glad to know that the tired, breaking family is going to smile on the way to their car tonight.

So I encourage you to be sneaky every once and awhile. Don’t hesitate to bless someone in secret. If you’re recognized on earth for these deeds, you’ve received reward enough already. But if you’ll be sneaky and patient; your reward will come in Heaven, where everything is better.

Don't hoard treasure down here where it gets eaten by moths and corroded by rust or—worse!—stolen by burglars. Stockpile treasure in heaven, where it's safe from moth and rust and burglars. It's obvious, isn't it? 

The place where your treasure is, 

is the place you will most want to be, and end up being.

~Matthew 6: 19-21